rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

image

(via justoneyesterdaaay)

promoted:

*takes a break from doing nothing* ah i really deserved this

(Source: teamrocketing, via weightless-imagination)

promoted:

*takes a break from doing nothing* ah i really deserved this

(Source: teamrocketing, via weightless-imagination)

"Nobody drinks a bottle of vodka for fun, and that’s a damn fact."
The most sober thing a drunk person could say  (via suchvodka)

(Source: whispering-secrets-and-smoke, via masquerade-warrior)

magnezone:

don’t get it twisted like i respect bugs for being the best they can be in spite of their specific assigned flesh prisons and their ecological significance but they need to stay the fuck away from me 

(via dinosaurmysteries)

sala-cious:

Ⓢ
rogerdabbit:

Carlsbad, CA. Click it if you’re on mobile.